A Practical Message

 I'm just going to be honest: when I was young, church was a chore I had to complete each week. I had no interest in it. My sisters and I had to sit perfectly still during the sermons; if we wiggled, there would be lectures and shaming. That's when my rebellion began. When you must sit perfectly still and desperately need to jiggle a foot or leg to ensure it didn't fall asleep, resentment creeps in. I never once read about Jesus preaching that children couldn't move or wiggle just a little during his teachings. He liked kids, and he got them.  

I don't believe I listened to one complete sermon growing up. Periodically, I checked in to see what our pastor said in case my mother asked me any questions at lunch; I wanted to be ready. While I was off dreaming about my books, stories, time with friends, and afternoon movies, which I was looking forward to, I wanted her to think I was listening. My mother was clear about Sunday rules. We needed to pay attention in church; if we weren't listening to the sermons, we had better look like we were. I became a master of looking interested while wandering in my mind. My dad is not mentioned in this discussion because it was his first chance to sit down after a busy week, and his job was to not fall asleep, all while my mother nudged him and listened to the pastor simultaneously. I wondered if we were a typical family.

My focus, and yes, I am a grocery girl and working on it, was what we were having for lunch after church. I was as thin as a rail, but I could eat. If we were having roast beef with mashed potatoes and corn and biscuits with melting butter running out the sides and a cold glass of milk, it was as if the heavens parted, the sun shined bright, and all was right with the world. Nothing was better than Mom serving a chocolate cake with buttercream frosting or even her 7-minute boiled icing for dessert. After dinner, my older sister and I would watch old movies. I saw Casablanca, Frankenstein, Dracula, and almost every other old film. My sister also introduced me to Weathering Heights, and the garden of my mind was filled with all sorts of possibilities that I loved thinking about. I was very much in my head.

Let me be clear: I wish I had listened. My youthful disinterest in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit shocks me. What was I thinking about all of those years? I know I was busy with friends and school, but come on! I accepted Jesus saving me but rejected His Lordship and friendship. I'm not proud of my shenanigans, as my mom called them. Truthfully, she was right. She told me more than once that my head was in the clouds and I needed to stop daydreaming so much. At that age, I just thought she was old.

Had I listened, would I have discovered that a positive, disciplined mindset and a disciplined imagination led to a happier life? And what about gratitude? These things are all part of faith and hope, which I lacked for much of my life. As a young person, my daydreaming wasn't focused. It wandered over hill and dale without a care in the world. I'm blushing with embarrassment as I write this. I can see I was letting life happen willy-nilly. I don't believe I had much faith or hope because as soon as I asked for something, the thought that God probably wouldn't answer me was right behind it. And did I open the Bible to see if any golden nuggets of wisdom nestled themselves in those pages? No.

Though it was years after I left home before I wanted to listen to a sermon or open a Bible, I believed in Jesus as my Savior. I just didn't have much interest in Him. And then, in my thirties, while raising my family and facing challenges in my marriage, I committed myself to Him and began listening to the Holy Spirit. He had been patient with me over the years. After changing my heart toward Him, I heard His gentle whispers and nudges toward a peaceful life. Holy Spirit was never loud or unkind; He was quiet, kind, and a perfect companion. I wouldn't trade the Holy Spirit's advice or counsel for a well-meaning friend's opinion for the world.

As I finally opened my Bible in my thirties, Jesus became my Savior and a practical teacher with valuable life advice. I researched Him, read His sermons, and began dreaming about Him. I was stunned by how perfect He was. He never lectured me, wagged a finger at me, or said, "Shame on You," or looked at me with utter disgust that I had let Him down. He was everything I needed. Since this time of getting to know Him, I've been curious about the how-to's and steps for an easier, more peaceful life. I wanted to know how to increase my faith and eliminate doubt. 

Growing older, I felt God's presence as I passed through the valleys and shadows in my life, such as divorce and cancer. If I ignored Him, He never left me even though I didn't go to church regularly, I didn't become a Bible teacher, and I wasn't on any boards at church. I wasn't interested, but I became close to the Lord. Any writings on this website are based on my experiences and the hard-won wisdom I have found despite my stubbornness, pride, and rebellion against God and His Kingdom. 

My first suggestion is that if you have a desire in your heart, go to God with it. Prayer is talking with Him, not begging. It's relational. Why do it? Because He is our maker, our architect, our designer. No one knows us better than our Father. He loves us and wants the best for us, so it's Him from whom we should seek direction and guidance. If we seek input from other people first, we'll get a flawed human perspective sprinkled with their perceptions and experiences. Never is anyone's guidance as good as God's. They may think so, but that's just naive. (This is not to say that you should not seek Christian therapy if you feel you need it. I am talking more about everyday living.)

I talk to Him throughout the day and listen for His answers. And here is where my prayer life is growing, even now: I make sure I go to prayer with belief, expectation, and thanksgiving. God is going to answer me. I imagine, hope, and believe He will answer me, which is my part. Sometimes, His answers are unexpected, obviously sensible, and occasionally weird, but they are always appreciated.

And let me tell you, if you believe like I used to, that I wasn't perfect, so God wouldn't answer me, throw that belief out. It's no good. Start with the facts; God loves you; that's the truth. None of us are perfect, though some may pretend and delude themselves into thinking they tick all Christian boxes, just a little above others, and therefore perfect, none of us are. Another point is that you get what you expect in life, even in prayer. I can't tell you how often I asked God for something and expected nothing. Guess what? I got nothing. That's because nothing was my fundamental belief.

Jesus said in Matthew 21:22 Whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. And then Jesus said in Mark 11:24, All things whatsoever ye shall ask for, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

His direction is clear!

This blog is long enough for today; I'll pick this up next time.

Last thought: I dearly wish someone would have taken me aside and explained that if I just listened to the wisdom of my Bible and used it as a guide, I might just have a good life. There would be challenges, but there would also have been more blessings and happy times. If you have a wayward teenager, please don't just set up rules; explain why those rules are valuable and there to help them. If they don't listen, the information is in their brains for later.

I hope this helps!

Your friend Denise

Breaking Bad Habits

 ... and creating new ones.

I once was in a relationship that made me feel dreadful day in and day out. The person I was married to had absolutely no time for me. When I called him at the office and left a message, he ignored me. If it was an emergency, he ignored me. We were in the final stages of our marriage, and I was getting ready to move on. I realized I had to somehow break the ties to him. He had discarded me emotionally long before this. It. was up to me to move on. So this is what I did.

Every day, I was tempted to call him, make contact, and hear his voice; I suppose I was still looking for hope. When I realized there wasn't, I decided that I had to train myself not to call him, not expect him home for dinner or anything else that happily married couples do.

The first thing I did was stop the phone calls to his office for any reason. This wasn't easy because it was an ingrained habit. I chose that habit to break first. Under no circumstances did I allow myself to call him. After a few weeks, I didn't want to call him, but I still thought about it. It was about three months, and suddenly, one day, I realized that I hadn't called him or thought about calling him in over a month. It was as if he was removed from my subconscious mind as a go-to person.

Next, I gave up expecting him home for dinner or around on the weekends. I went through the same process as above. Within a few months, I realized he was not someone I counted on or even wanted to see or talk to. There had been many years of unhappiness, I just needed to break unhealthy habits. We began living separate lives in our household, and eventually, I filed for divorce. I was completely done.

Once it was over, I wished I had done it sooner, but adjusting myself and breaking old habits took me through the moving-on process step by step until I was free of the situation and did not miss it or think about it. 

Everyone has their own way of doing things. I had to realize that much of this marriage was just a series of bad habits of going along to get along, and when it no longer worked for me, I began breaking those behaviors and habits. 

This week, during the Curious Club Meeting, I wrote about how to think about things that are good. Similarly, we can stop habits that are not good for us and are destructive and replace them with good, healthy habits. Taking some of these renewals of the mind step by step will not be as complicated as you would think.

I hope this helps!

Your friend Denise

God's Guidance

 I was given a book titled God Guides by Mary Emma Geegh many years ago. She believed that “where God guides, He provides.” I have ordered several copies since then and passed them out. It’s a short book with several examples of how Mary, a missionary in India, asked God what to do throughout her everyday circumstances, resulting in His advice and positive outcomes in her life and those with whom she shared her beliefs. Her stories represented a new way of communicating with God, and I wondered if it would work. I began pursuing Him and pursued His advice for many years, and I can tell you it works. The bonus of this method is a friendship with God. To my disappointment, I don’t always listen to His answers and rush ahead down my reckless path, which always results in my disadvantage.

As we meditate and talk to God in quiet silence, our thoughts and questions become potent prayers that bring positive answers. One day, while talking to God, my thoughts drifted over this subject. I heard from the Holy Spirit, “To trust man is folly.” From experience, I knew this was not an attack on humankind but rather a truth that when choosing paths, thoughts, directions, and every action in our lives, to consult God is to move your prayers into the Heavenly Realms, where His answers are perfect, sound, and accurate. If we only consult men, then those opinions (only opinions) are shaded or jaded by man’s experiences and mindsets, which, because of their very nature, will not be perfect. Only God’s input is perfect. 

God uses different modes of communication. He may speak to you through another person, and you will know it’s right because your gut will tell you. It will line up with what He has been telling you. It is confirmation. It will also line up with scripture. If it contradicts the Bible, you probably aren’t hearing from God.

Reading this book was the beginning of a change in my prayer life. I began listening to God for guidance regarding all of my concerns. I didn’t feel like an angry, ignored child anymore. I became open to a friendship with Him. I began to count on His wisdom. God cares about everything. His advice may seem counterintuitive at times, but it requires faith. God doesn’t operate as we do. I know He’s not a “little boiling teapot,” as I was once referred to.

How does He guide us? Through our gut, ideas flash across our minds, new thoughts, circumstances, spoken words of others, and sometimes unusual ideas—a quiet voice. His ways are countless. In my case, He always met me right where I was and communicated in ways that I would uniquely understand. After all, He created me and knew how to get through to me. He knows you just as well.

Listening and paying attention to God takes practice. Yielding yourself to His voice rather than your own requires developing a habit. In week #4 of Curiosity Corner Club, we’ll talk more about seeking God’s guidance and listening to him even when it seems complicated. I’ll tell you why: if your advice comes from the heavenly realms, how can it be wrong?

Today’s Prayer Method

1. Get quiet

2. Ask your question

3. Wait in silence

Thanks for reading!

Denise

   

Earth Personalities

In the second week of the Curiosity Club meeting, I refer to an "earth personality." The following is an unusual but true story of how I came upon that term.

A few years ago, my son's dog, Bernie, died of an aggressive cancer. He was only three years old. I took his death especially hard because I watched him daily during his first year while my son went to work. 

Bernie was a clown, and I just loved him. I never walked him; he walked me. We walked at his pace, which was always fast, if not running. There was no holding him back. He filled me with joy!

I looked into his deep brown eyes and told him what a good boy he was. I knew he understood and loved me back. I was very firm with him that he couldn't stand up on the countertop in the kitchen and grab things to eat, like a pack of crackers or thawing ground beef. But that was the extent of my training. He was a perfect dog.

Bernie ran to the front door whenever the doorbell rang and practically dove through the outer screen to greet delivery men and women. Some laughed in surprise, and others ran for their lives.

My son collected him at the end of each day, and he sat up straight in the truck next to his boy. They were the perfect pair. I know Bernie's death was devastating for him. The cancer diagnosis came as a shock. My son was brokenhearted, as he told me. Over the next month, we realized that our friend would not make it.

I went over to my son's place many days to pray for Bernie and my son and to give my son breaks so that he could go to the office. He had the brunt of the care of Bernie day and night. It was an awful time. At last, my son had to make the painful decision to release Bernie from his pain and put him down.

I went to say goodbye to him before they left, and then my precious Bernie watched me walk away as I left. He must have known. Dogs are so intelligent. It's two years later, and I still miss our boy and silently cry when I am alone.

I had four dreams about Bernie and heaven in that first year. I dream about heaven and my loved ones regularly soon after they die. I have conversations with them, and they help me to feel at peace. These are lucid dreams in which I also regularly visit my dogs, now a pack.

In my first dream about Bernie, he stood in a line of angels next to Jesus. Across from them were many dark entities, which they seemed to be holding back.

"Bernie," I called.

He came running to me. I got down on one knee and hugged him.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Animals and people talk telepathically in heaven.

"I'm with Jesus now."

I looked at Jesus, and he smiled.

"Thank you," I said to him.

I hugged Bernie again. I had a few more dreams like this: I would visit my pack of dogs now in heaven: Charlie, Mocha, and Buffy.

One time, after Buffy died, I went to see them. I was hugging all of my dogs, including Bernie, who joined us, and then Buffy came running up and jumped all over Bernie, licking his face.

I was shocked because Buffy did not like Bernie and was not friendly to him. She went out of her way to snub him.

"Buffy, what's this?" I said, laughing.

I turned to Bernie and said, "She's never nice to you."

"Oh, that was her earth personality," he explained. "She's really nice now. She likes me."

I ruffled the hair on Buffy's head. Our old Bijon Shitzu was a young pup again. She jumped on my lap and started licking my face.

"Oh, Buffy, you're so happy!" I exclaimed.

Charlie, our dear husky, yellow lab mix, came over and nuzzled his head into my neck as I gave him a great hug, and then my dear puggle, Mocha, squeezed between everyone and knocked me over and licked my face.

I was laughing and literally in heaven with all of my furry friends.

What an incredible gift to have this dream with my animal family! But the most exciting part was that I learned we have earth and heavenly personalities, which was unexpected. It must be that all of the problems that affect our personalities are gone in heaven. That's why when I visit, everyone is so happy!

As an end note, traveling to heaven in my dreams to see my animals has been a great gift. I'm grateful and treasure this gift.

When I refer to our Earth personalities, you'll understand that this world's cares burden us, but our heavenly personalities are not burdened at all. In heaven, we're filled with freedom and joy.

Thanks for reading!

Denise

Forgiveness is Freedom

Today, I'm writing about something people pay little attention to - forgiveness.

Here is a short self-test: If you think about someone you have a grudge against repeatedly—daily, weekly—and the terrible thing or things they did to you, and when you think about it, it plays over and over in your mind like a movie reel and makes you feel terrible in the pit of your stomach, chances are you have unforgiveness toward them.

And what if you're like I was, nearly exploding with it? What do you do? I had no idea what to do with all of my anger. If you are like me, you're thinking, "I'm not going to forgive them because they'll get away with it then."

That's wrong thinking! And that's okay; I thought that way most of my life. If you're like me and you do, those sad thoughts will continue to hum along through life and become part of your subconscious, and those tragic thoughts will take their toll and drag you down.

I want to share a story. A while ago, life was not going happily for me. I was having a lot of issues on a lot of fronts. I thought that all of these problems must be demonic attacks. They were, but not because I was the perfect person I thought I was. Here's what happened.

Like so many, I fooled myself into thinking that the traumas in my life had nothing to do with me. It was everyone else's fault.

And then one day, I was listening to a podcast and heard a man testify about his divorce, his mistakes, and the toll they took on his life. As a result of his experience, he began a deliverance ministry based on forgiveness.

For some reason, this particular podcast struck a chord with me. It was the Lord answering my prayers for help. I was so desperately upset by everything in my life, and I felt that life had been entirely unfair and that it was everyone else's fault.

I felt life was horrible because I was this wonderful person who prayed for everyone when in reality, I was a bitter, emotionally crippled person who knew nothing about forgiveness. I had not yet learned forgiveness was the key to healing my broken heart and every other area of my life.

I wrote down the email of this man's deliverance ministry and fired off a message telling him I was at the end of my rope, at odds with everyone, and that I was convinced the devil himself was trying to kill me with misery. There, I felt better. It was a bit dramatic, but so be it.

At the very least, I thought my email would be tossed into a pile with hundreds of others and prayed over. God might notice my terrible plight and pay attention to me, finally. I felt better and headed to the shower to wash my hair. Almost immediately, my phone began to ring. I looked at the screen. It was an unknown caller. I never picked up those phone calls, but that day, I did.

"Denise?" a man asked as I answered.

"Yes," I responded in shock.

He explained who he was, the man from the podcast. "I just read your email. I never call people myself when they email me, but I'm very concerned about you."

I burst into tears. Finally, someone saw how terrible my life was!

He talked me off the ceiling, told me everything would be okay, and prayed for me. I got off the phone feeling much better. Over the next few days, we scheduled a Zoom session with him and his team to talk and pray with me. 

Finally, I thought, they'll get the devil off my back. I was sure it was all his and his demon's fault.

That night on Zoom changed my life, and I will never stop being grateful to this man and his team. First, they explained that deliverance comes through forgiveness. If I accepted Jesus as my savior and forgave everyone in my life, the devil's torments and painful events would begin to dissolve.

We dug in.

First, they showed me Matthew 18:21—35— the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant. A wonderful woman on the team explained this scripture: being turned over to the jailer meant being turned over to the devil and his tormenters, the demons who wreak havoc in our lives. God does not forgive us or free us from the tormentor until we forgive others; if we don't, we won't join Him in the kingdom of God. He's very clear in this scripture. It leaves no confusion. I was shocked. A light went on in my head.

"Ohhhhh," I said.

They laughed because they saw that I was beginning to get it. How many times had I heard this verse, but that night with the team of four other people, they showed me that I was in jail with the tormentors (demonic events) because of my unforgiveness! 

One of the ladies said, "Denise, is there anything in your life worse than hanging on a cross, stripped naked, and being mocked by soldiers dividing your clothes and belongings?" 

I thought for a moment.

"No, there is nothing worse," I answered.

"And yet, in the middle of all that, he forgave them," she explained.

Over the next five hours, yes five hours, we talked; I asked God to forgive me for sins that the Holy Spirit brought up and forgave what seemed to be an endless list of people in my life. I couldn't believe it took 5 hours to empty me of my anger, bitterness, and vile unforgiveness for just about everyone in my life. I was embarrassed and apologized for being such a mess, and they laughed and said it was a typical amount of time. I guess most people don't realize how much unforgiveness they have inside them. They finally asked me if there was anyone else I needed to forgive.

"I don't think I know anyone else," I joked, and they laughed.

During this time of prayer and listening, the Holy Spirit guided me to the truth of my bitterness. Follow-up prayers of closing doors to the devil began to rescue me. I grew lighter and lighter in spirit.  We started at 7:00 and finished at 12:30 Eastern time.

The next day, I felt clean, like my soul had been power-washed. I was lighter. They showed me that this had to become a way of life, eliminating the anger. The prayer he taught me was, I forgive so and so, Father; they don't owe me anything; I am only your servant.

I am still praying this prayer because a very important light went on for me that night. I thought I was a victim of life and others, but instead, I realized that my toxic, harmful, repetitive thoughts of the past and others and the blaming of them caused more heartache to come into my life. 

Do not be deceived; God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. Galatians 6:7

My minute understanding of Quantum Physics paid off because I now understood that my unforgiveness attracted more events that led to more unforgiveness.  Our thoughts are energy and attract what we give our attention to. (That is only a tiny piece of QP, but it makes a lot of sense to me.) "Like attracts like" (Law of Attraction). This is my interpretation and the easiest way to picture it. My understanding of Quantum Physics is miniscule, but I believe God has laws that tie into science. Why wouldn't He, since He is the creator of everything?

I wanted to remain clean, and I do to this day. I'm not perfect; I excavate my emotions daily and repent when needed, making me feel good. I forgive others quickly and ask the Holy Spirit to fill, guide, and direct me. I thank Jesus for dying on the cross for me, and I thank God that He is a loving Father who sent His son to set me free.

Life is a mind game, I discovered that night. By that, I mean a series of moves. I had been making all of the wrong ones, and Satan had been winning. But no more! I now control my thoughts, not him. Life is improving daily, and I see God straightening everything out.

Glory to God for freeing me from the abyss of pain, anger, venom, and sorrow. I must confess to you that I was miserable before this night. I thought I was sweet and giving and friendly to everyone when, in fact, I had a cesspool of unforgiveness boiling inside of me. And I was just miserable enough to trust the team and the process of forgiveness to stop losing at life.

I was at the end of myself. No one cared about all of my emotions, misinterpretations, and imaginations. It was time to jump into that clear river of life, fix myself, and stop blaming the devil and everyone else. I'm new inside, but it is a daily journey of rewiring my thoughts and responses, and the payoff has been that my life is getting better and better. 

-All I can say in conclusion is that forgiveness is mind-blowing and life-changing!

Thanks for reading!

Denise